How To Be Nigerian No. 7

No. 7- Laugh and create memes on everything

To be Nigerian, you have to know how to laugh at everything, funny or not. Just a little mistake and the whole Nigeria is rolling in memes and jokes. Like the case of the teacher in Edo state that couldn't properly read a letter and had to be corrected to the point of exasperation by the governor, in the  background, several people were laughing, forgetting that this was a national embarrassment and a call for a serious look into the state of education in that state and the nation as a whole, or that case of "spended" or "my fellow widows" that's on one hand.

How To Be Nigerian No. 6

NO. 6- Be Smart, Be Tough

Sorry this is coming 23 hours late, I had serious network issues yesterday. Nothing was working right. Well then, here we go. To be Nigerian, you have to be tough. Very tough. Nigeria has no patience for weakling, mentally and physically. It is just not allowed. An average Nigerian’s mantra is “I be naija pikin o!” that has to be said with an amused/incredulous expression. As a naija pikin, no one can cheat you. Well, except a fellow naija pikin. In Nigeria, you match wits against wits. When arguing for example, you should things like ‘you think say you dey craze? I get craze pass you.” The word craze can be substituted with other adjectives such as mad, stupid and etc. over the world, Nigerians are known as drug peddlers, thieves, scammers, as so on. That’s a lie. The thing is, Nigerian are just tough, tough really is the word. Survival against all odds. We have learnt to do this, trust me NEPA and the government has taught us so much.

How to Be Nigerian NO. 5

No. 5. Be Your own Government

How have the lessons been so far? Are you understanding and learning (swiftly) how to be Nigerian? If so, glory be to … I must let you know that I wouldn’t teach you everything about being Nigerian as there are some things you would have to learn on your own. For example, your environment would determine how you would speak as a Nigerian. If you would speak smooth pidgin or rough pidgin, if you would use cuss words or naija slangs, if you would speak Queens English or Nigerian English and so on. Things like this have to do with WHERE you are in Nigeria. However, there is one thing that is constant all through the country. Your territory or terrain has nothing to do with it. That is being your own government. Wait, wait, of course it’s a democratic government here, we do have an elected government. No Jammeh situation here, we own the ol’ guy Goodluck.