HOW TO BE NIGERIAN NO. 9

-Be of different tribes
Nigeria is said to have about 100 languages, that's a lot right? I wouldn't want to go into the history of Nigeria, I'd just say that the northern and southern protectorates that got amalgamated in 1914 birthed the nation Nigeria. Several years and civil wars down the line, the major ethnic groups are the Igbo, Hausa and the Yoruba. Enough with the history. But then, can we really separate the past from d present? How would we try to predict the future then?
It's not enough that we have to face racism, xenophobia or whatever else, we have decided to go against one another within our nation. Don't pity us, oh please don't. It's something we have to do. Aunty Flora and uncle Lugard must be turning in their graves now, watching their 'wards' turn against one another. They have to suffer for what they have done to us, it really doesn't matter that they are dead.
Being Igbo, the nation would not survive without us. We are the entrepreneurs, Yet we do not get preferential treatment. If not for daddy Johnathan, we wouldn't have even gotten the seat of power. All these Afonja people and  their lousiness. They only know how to shout and sit on the legs of their fat wives.

How TO Be Nigerian No. 8

No. 8-

Have Bad Reputation Internationally.

Hey guys, how has the journey to being Nigerian been? I hope you have been enjoying the ride just as I have been. On this number, let’s go international. To be Nigerian, please please, endeavor to have a bad reputation internationally. It does not matter how much good Nigerians have done. It does not matter that in OPEC, UN, ECOWAS and other international organisations Nigerians are representing beautifully. Nor does it even matter that in several prestigious Universities in the UK, US, Russia, Ukraine, Germany, many other nations, not to talk of at home Nigerians are making the highest distinctions. In fact, it never matters that in several places all over the world, Nigerians are trail blazers in several fields ranging from sport to business, music to education, comedy to acting, science and technology and so on. I assure you that these very important achievements do not count. What matters, I must tell you is the nation is one of the most corrupt in Africa, what matters are the foreign bank accounts our swindler leaders have in most of these foreign nations. What matters most is that Nigerians are drug peddlers, swindlers; popularly called yahoo-yahoo or G-boys. What matters is that despite the obvious Nigerians that are doing great legitimate things, another percentage are doing illegitimate things and that’s what counts.

How To Be Nigerian No. 7

No. 7- Laugh and create memes on everything

To be Nigerian, you have to know how to laugh at everything, funny or not. Just a little mistake and the whole Nigeria is rolling in memes and jokes. Like the case of the teacher in Edo state that couldn't properly read a letter and had to be corrected to the point of exasperation by the governor, in the  background, several people were laughing, forgetting that this was a national embarrassment and a call for a serious look into the state of education in that state and the nation as a whole, or that case of "spended" or "my fellow widows" that's on one hand.