HOW TO BE NIGERIAN NO 11!

Be friendly

No kidding, Nigerians are the friendliest people on earth. Always smiling and willing to help. Trust me on this. If you go anywhere in Nigeria, you cannot get lost. One of the things Nigerians do best id give directions. Just stop where a group of Nigerians are seated or standing and ask for directions, for every two persons standing there, you get a different route to the same destination. Nigerians would even tell you how to conduct yourself at your destination.

We get to Lagos for the first time, our bus stop at Berger Park. We see a group of people talking, we approach them. We greet them, they respond enthusiastically, we tell them we are headed to Oshodi but we do not know how to get there. Oh, oshodi! Easy. From here, board a bus to Agege, from Agege, board another bus headed to Oshodi. That’s one way someone else says, you could board ikeja from here, not under bridge ikeja, Ikeja-Along, cross the road, but don’t cross it o. those KAI people would probably be lurking somewhere, so make sure to take the pedestrian bridge. Once you get off the bus, you’d get bus headed to oshodi just at the foot of the bridge. That’s surely one way another person says, but why not board Ojota then oshodi from there? However, go to the end of the park there’s a straight bus to oshodi another one says. From Oshodi where are we headed, they ask. We say we are getting picked up. They okay, but better be careful. Don’t just stand anywhere, stand under the bridge. Make sure to use the bridge, don’t cross. Hold firmly to your bag. Okay then, one of them personally takes us to the driver of the straight bus to Oshodi driver, they’re going to oshodi, make sure they are fine. We depart.

When we get to oshodi, a woman comes up to us, she has a baby, tells us that she was headed to Ibadan but she somehow, she got stranded and needs money. We feel sympathetic towards her. We give her one thousand naira that should do something. She thanks us profusely and heaps prayers on us.

Two months later, we are still in Lagos. Finding our way around is pretty easy, people are just too helpful. We head to Ikeja. As we alight from the bus, a woman comes to us. She was heading home when she got robbed, she needs money. Ah! People always get stranded in this Nigeria, we ask her to go to the park, she should board the bus, and we would pay for it. She hisses and walks away. That’s the only person that we’ve met that isn’t friendly.

To be Nigerian, always help, always give, always be friendly. There’s no other explanation for why there are so many stranded people on the roads these days. That business seems to be profitable even in the recession. Don’t forget that if not for the recession, so many people wouldn’t be stranded. Be friendly, give directions, nobody is allowed to ‘miss road.’ Stay Nigerian.