How To be Nigerian No. 12

No 12. Grab your Copy Now

Grab your copy now! Is actually a common phrase in Nigeria, made common by the fact that we see it on our television screens almost all the time, but I won’t really be talking about Nollywood that made that phrase common in our nation.

You see, Nigerians are known for being ‘hustlers’.

The average Nigerian is ready to do anything (Legal, moral or otherwise as long as its a secret) to make money. Of course a lot, I mean a whole lot are also ready to do other things to make money. That’s the trademark of every Nigerian anyway. (read previous post)  In the spirit of hustle, Nigerians tend to pick up trends. After the discovery of crude oil and crop merchants became irrelevant, it was being a professional that was the in-thing. People wanted to be lawyers, doctors, engineers and teachers/professors. In fact, growing up in the 20^th century in Nigeria, those seemed to be the only professions children had knowledge of. If you did not go to the university, then you’d go for teachers training. Other professions included nursing, accounting, journalism, banking and finance and so on. At some point, it didn’t really matter what you studied, what mattered was that you went to the university. Vocations were thrown away by the far reaching power of education. We stopped making, we started speaking foreign English and importing.

We remember when we were younger and there were men who involved in vocations. One that comes clearly to memory is that of one local pot maker that lived on same street. We used to call them ‘oni kokorin’ (maker of iron pot). Those large pots that are silver in colour and mostly used for parties. He was considered very hard working and had potential to grow. But he wasn’t exactly educated, and his product isn’t abroad made, so he didn't grow.

When Bloggers like Linda ikeji, Bella Naija, Dooney’s Kitchen, Tunde Leye and so on started, it seemed like they were into charity. Giving us free content, it didn’t take long before Nigerians realized that blogging was a source of income and by the time Aunty Linda was buying her mansion, the blogsphere was already overpopulated. Bloggers have taken over. I wonder if that ikoko irin man is now a pot blogger.   This lasted for a long time. Gradually, other professions became recognized as industries were broken. There are so many upcoming comedians in Nigeria now that one does not have to wonder why Nigerians love the phrase ‘suffering and smiling’, after Alibaba and the likes paved the way into that industry

. Just a couple of years back, it would have been unthinkable to tell your parents that you want to be a comedian. What?!! Funke! (To get this joke, you have to be Nigerian. That’s what this series is all about)

Let’s not forget the favorite profession of most Nigerian ladies now. What do you do? I’m a makeup artist. I’ll go no further on that. Just remember know that House of Tara, BM Pro and a few others started this beautiful thing, then it became fever.

 Even writing that used to be a few poor people thing is now so popular that almost all biographies now have ‘author’ affixed to them. There are lots of other professions but the most lucrative right now is what I will suggest to you. Being Nigerian, it’s rare to follow your passion, the state of the nation does not even allow it. So follow the band wagon, get some money, buy a whistle, and blow it! There you have it. The most lucrative job now is whistle blowing, good luck. And don’t forget to roger me. Till then, stay Nigerian.