No. 4 When you hear Ole, Run!
Ole means thief in a Nigerian language. So when you hear
ole! Run. When I say run, I don’t mean run away, I mean follow the shout. We
are at the market shopping, negotiating the price of kpomo with the market
woman, blaming the government on how the price of kpomo, common kpomo rose from
N20 to N70 within two days. We are still negotiating when her neighbor that
sells kerosene starts insulting her customer, calling her “bad market” for
asking that a bottle of kerosene be sold at N100. We all turn to her to calm
her, she disagrees and chases away the customer. We get back to our own
haggling. Then we hear it. OLE! OLE!! OLE!!! The kpomo woman jumps to her feet
and picks up a stick hidden by her stall door.
The kerosene woman shrieks and grabs a gallon of kerosene, stopping by the next stall to tell them to hurry with the matches. The electronics guy that is just returning from the petrol station where he bought fuel for his generator quickly jumps off the motorcycle and follows the crowd, the motorcyclist quickly rode to the front of the car. We are standing in front of the kpomo woman’s stall. The whole place is deserted, safe for few sales boys and girls who wouldn’t dare leave their bosses’ stalls. We follow the crowd. We hear a shriek, a scream. We squeeze our way to the front. Two young men are hitting the thief with sticks, other people are stoning him. We look on shocked, amazed and stunned. People all around us make comments and snigger at the bloodied body jerking and pleading. People around point and say ‘that’s how they do. Someone’s sweat, they will take it. Mad people.” We ask these people, please what did he steal, nobody really knows. They spit at him and throw whatever they can lay their hands on. Then a tyre mysteriously appears, as if there is a collection of tyres set aside for such spectacular viciousness. The fuel appears too, the matches follow suit. The crown collectively take a step backwards. They know the drill, they are used to this. The young men balance the tyre of the thief’s neck, pour the fuel and strike the match. We look around, nobody can rescue the boy, there’s a policeman though, but he simply looks on, taking deep drags of his cigarette. The fire goes up, the thief’s screams quickly seize and becomes grunts jerks as he stills but the fire burns on. Did I mention camera phones capturing the moment like some hip-hop show? People around disperse. We do too. Show’s over folks! As we walk on we see a small crowd at a stall, amused we go to see what’s going on. It is the stall of the victim that that was stolen from. Such pity. People question her, what happened, how did it happen? She says she saw him perambulating the front of her store for a while, then she became suspicious. But she kept quiet. Then when she went deeper into the stall to get water to drink, she came out to see him taking garri and putting some in a nylon, while his mouth was already full. When he saw her, he made to run and that was when she raised the alarm. “Well, he has learnt his lesson someone uttered. The people around disperse, we disperse too.
The kerosene woman shrieks and grabs a gallon of kerosene, stopping by the next stall to tell them to hurry with the matches. The electronics guy that is just returning from the petrol station where he bought fuel for his generator quickly jumps off the motorcycle and follows the crowd, the motorcyclist quickly rode to the front of the car. We are standing in front of the kpomo woman’s stall. The whole place is deserted, safe for few sales boys and girls who wouldn’t dare leave their bosses’ stalls. We follow the crowd. We hear a shriek, a scream. We squeeze our way to the front. Two young men are hitting the thief with sticks, other people are stoning him. We look on shocked, amazed and stunned. People all around us make comments and snigger at the bloodied body jerking and pleading. People around point and say ‘that’s how they do. Someone’s sweat, they will take it. Mad people.” We ask these people, please what did he steal, nobody really knows. They spit at him and throw whatever they can lay their hands on. Then a tyre mysteriously appears, as if there is a collection of tyres set aside for such spectacular viciousness. The fuel appears too, the matches follow suit. The crown collectively take a step backwards. They know the drill, they are used to this. The young men balance the tyre of the thief’s neck, pour the fuel and strike the match. We look around, nobody can rescue the boy, there’s a policeman though, but he simply looks on, taking deep drags of his cigarette. The fire goes up, the thief’s screams quickly seize and becomes grunts jerks as he stills but the fire burns on. Did I mention camera phones capturing the moment like some hip-hop show? People around disperse. We do too. Show’s over folks! As we walk on we see a small crowd at a stall, amused we go to see what’s going on. It is the stall of the victim that that was stolen from. Such pity. People question her, what happened, how did it happen? She says she saw him perambulating the front of her store for a while, then she became suspicious. But she kept quiet. Then when she went deeper into the stall to get water to drink, she came out to see him taking garri and putting some in a nylon, while his mouth was already full. When he saw her, he made to run and that was when she raised the alarm. “Well, he has learnt his lesson someone uttered. The people around disperse, we disperse too.
To be a full blooded Nigerian, support jungle justice.
Doesn’t matter if the person stole, was trying to steal, or was just accused of
stealing. You don’t even have to know what he stole, tried to steal or was
accused of stealing. Here are the steps to take when you hear ole:
1. Chase the ‘ole’, grab a stick, machete or anything that
can inflict deadly injuries.
2. Beat the ‘ole’ while stripping him. If it’s a her, now it
gets interesting, molest her as you strip, ask her why a ‘fine geh dey thief’.
3. Grab your camera phones to record you interesting
wickedness.
4. Tyre appears, fuel appears, matches appear.
You’re done. Check several cases on the internet for
reference. Now you are on your way to being a full-fledged Nigerian.
Have a blessed weeek ahead and please love mondays. it's a beautiful day.
Have a blessed weeek ahead and please love mondays. it's a beautiful day.
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