HOW TO BE NIGERIAN. NO 1

Nigeria is an amazing country, very popular around the world and I can tell you that lots of people around the world envy Nigeria. what with our constantly shaky economy, corruption, powerless currency and most importantly, our happiness. yes, always suffering and smiling(Not my words, just that of one of the greatest Nigerians). So if you are a foreigner, a confused national or even a national that has been in diaspora(especially now that we are not sure of the fate of our people in the country of the president with the golden hair) I'll be giving guidelines on how to be Nigerian. it's going to be a Monday series so don't worry, I've got you.
 HOW TO BE NIGERIAN.
NO. 1. *Blame the government. Always.

When He died Part 5

Opemipo

She rushed into her sister’s house and saw Halimat. She ran to her, Halimat explained the dramatic turn of events to her and they both cried. She thanked Halimat for informing her. She headed to her sister’s room but changed her mind. She had to use the toilet as fast as possible as she had bowels had been acting up since she got the call that her sister’s husband died. As she passed the guest room she heard a sharp ‘thwack”. She moved closer to the door and listened. She forgot her bowels and ran to her sister’s room.

When He Died Part 4

Ibrahim

His brother is too weak to fight it anyway. He put the pillow over his brother’s face.

I ran into the room and saw my brother in law standing over my husband. I pushed him off and touched my husband. His eyes fluttered open and he managed a weak smile as he saw me. I was confused, I thought they said he died. I saw the room fill with people as my mother in law and Uncle Rokeeb came to my husband and touched him. The room was filled with cries of “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.” 

When He Died

Part 3

What was wrong with having sex with my own husband in our own house? I was just tired of this people. And I was warned not to marry a Muslim but I was in love with Haleem. I should have married Adewale instead. He was a Christian and loved me a lot. I was still lost in my thoughts when I felt a strong whack on my face. I looked up dazed. What was going on here? Is this some form of traditional right?  I burst into tears. Where was Haleem right now? Shouldn’t he be protecting me?  I saw my mother in law push the person that slapped my away and she sat by me on the floor.

When He died

Part 2

Ibrahim

Ibrahim got up from the sitting room as soon as he was able to get away from his wailing mother. Everything as it was happening broke his heart. As mother’s friends came and took her into their arms, he wanted to go see his brother. The Alfas were already making the arrangements as per Muslim doctrines. He got to the door and paused for a moment to steel himself, he was a man after all. He opened the door and stood there in shock. He saw his brother’s wife grinding on his dead brother. He was shocked and confused. She was oblivious of his presence and he quietly closed the door wondering what to do. He was still standing there when he felt someone place a hand on his shoulder. It was his uncle.

When He Died

Part 1

I looked somberly at their faces, they were all crying and screaming. I shut myself away from all of it. I got up and walked quietly to the room where he lay, looking as handsome as always. I sat on the edge of the bed and touched his cheek, it was cold. Too cold for my liking, he did always like cold.

Chronicles of Koko 5

We all went for a party which was crazy fun. We got home around 1.am and having danced a lot and had so much to drink, we all went straight to bed.

Choices

Part 4

Francis walked slowly past Bosede’s gate hoping to catch a glimpse of her. The little space between the gate and the fence showed the compound empty. Three times he walked the length of the street hoping Bosede would come out, she didn’t. He summoned courage and knocked on the gate. Yetunde, Bosede’s sister came out to meet him.

“Yes, what is it?” Yetunde recognised him.

Choices

Part 3

Francis walked slowly past Bosede’s gate hoping to catch a glimpse of her. The little space between the gate and the fence showed the compound empty. Three times he walked the length of the street hoping Bosede would come out, she didn’t. He summoned courage and knocked on the gate.

Choices

Part 2

“Francis, I missed my period some time ago.” Bosede said gently.

Francis sat up.

“That was before I came to see you, the last time. I did some tests and I was confirmed pregnant.” 

Francis eyes’ widened.

Choices

Part 1

Francis was bored as he stared at his smart phone screen. He didn’t want to watch anything on TV nor did he find anything that interested him on the social media. He sighed. After having all the money he did, he did not expect to be bored. He went through his phone contacts till he found Bosede. He dialed. It took less than two minutes to convince her to come over; she never ceased to amuse him. 

Chronicles of Koko 4

“Where’s Hamza”

Hamza used to live two streets away from my house. His best friend, Kola happened to be my flatmate. We lived in a four bedroom flat; three rooms were occupied by ladies and only one with guys. Hamza was always at our house so we were all used to him. I was watching a movie in my room one day when my flat mate, Cynthia came in looking worried. I sat up and waited for her to say something.

Unbreakable

Part 3

picture credit- PicsArt

Over the next month, they visited about eight doctors, desperately seeking a positive review. Bilal went to all the doctors he knew and trusted and Yemisi did same. They were both exhausted. The best they got was from an Abuja based gynecologist who told them that they had to wait till the pregnancy was four months old, then they could perform a test that would tell them the probable genotype of the foetus. There was no simple solution. All that there was were maybes. They also went to visit a doctor that Bilal’s best friend had suggested and when they got home, it seemed entirely hopeless. Bilal went straight into the room. Yemisi went to the balcony to call her mother. She explained why she had been going in and out of Lagos for the past month. She told her mother about the pregnancy and about the genotype problem. She poured out her heart to her mother. She was met with complete silence from the other end of the phone.

Unbreakable

Part 2

picture credit- PicsArt

Yemisi bounced her head to the latest Olamide song playing on the car stereo. Then she started singing to Bilal who pretended to concentrate on his driving.

“Who you epp? Who you epp? You don baff? Who you serve?”

Bilal turned off the stereo.

“Ahan, why so grumpy?”

“You Yorubas are too noisy. I actually like that Olamide guy, I just don’t understand what he is saying.

“Which is exactly why I am singing it.” She turned it on again. “Coming thru, issue, Pound Sterling lawa fin shey tissue.”

Bilal turned it off. She turned it on. He turned it off, she turned it on again.

“Yemisi, you want to kill three of us abi? That song will cause an accident o.”

Unbreakable

Part 1

picture credit: PicsArt

Bilal checked his wrist watch for what seemed like the thousandth time. He was in a hurry to get home to get some work done, but he was also excited about his visitor. He couldn’t believe his visitor was really coming. It had been a long time he last saw her. As he checked his watch again, he sighed. She had refused to tell him the exact time her plane would be landing and he had estimated that since it was a Friday, she would have left work early, gotten through Lagos traffic and caught her flight, all that meant she should have booked a 5:00pm flight. It was 6:45pm and he had not seen her come out of arrivals. He had been here for two hours now. His phone rang.

Chronicles of Koko 3

“Koko, Fetch!”

Koko gradually became a menace to us all. She was still mean little Koko after all. She barked at our visitors and paraded the hallway like she paid our rent. Koko had hierarchy of respect; top of the ladder was of course her father, Hamza. Then Hamza’s best friend Kola and their other close friends. The rest of us in the house followed far behind. Koko had been taught to “fetch!” The things she really loved to fetch were plastic bottles, Hamza’s palm slippers’ and persons. Koko also had a strong grip, such that whatever she got between her teeth would be extremely hard to get back. Her grip was so strong that you could grab whatever she had in her teeth, lift her up with it, and she would still not let go. We all imagined her holding on to one’s flesh like that; it was something we all didn’t want to test.

Isheri River dries up!!!

Aeriel view of the 'dried up' river

People walking across what used to be a river

I didn’t plan to post this today as Chronicles of Koko is what I had lined up for Mondays but something caught my heart. It is the news that the Ogun Isheri river dried up. I happen to have crossed the supposedly dried up portion of the river this year on a canoe and passing it few days back, I got goose bumps all over. I saw grass where there had been nothing but water, and where I had crossed in a canoe, I saw people walking. It was very eerie. I quickly messaged my friends whom we crossed the river together and they were dumbfounded. From gists I got from the residents, On Friday afternoon, a canoe was transporting people across the river, all of a sudden, the sea weed which has always been in the river started to gather. It kept gathering till it became extremely thick. It went round the canoe and the people in it were stuck. Some of them were already screaming in fact. People around gathered and started to think of how to rescue them. I think somebody tested the solidity of the green, and started walking across it slowly. That was what encouraged people on the canoe to come out. Nobody really knows the cause. Others heard about it on saturday morning and the word spread.

the other side of the river that is flowing

Tourists on the bridge and on the river

Common Sales girl!

                                          had to use this picture for the lack of another. they are beautiful and respectable..


Immediately the man walked into the boutique, Aanu quickly covered the food she was eating and jumped to her feet.
“Good afternoon Sir.” She said with a smile.
“Good afternoon.” The man replied.
He looked around the shop.
“This place has really changed o. Where is madam?”
“She has gone out Sir.”
The man settled into a chair.
“I need a shoe. Something I can wear with jeans. Size 45.”

Chronicles of Koko 2

“Better Pikin.”

Jessica was frying fish in the kitchen one day when Koko came to sit in the kitchen. Jessica took a head of fish and gave it to her.

“Here Koko. Oya eat and don’t bite me.”

Koko trotted off with the fish. Few minutes later, Hamza came in to the kitchen with Koko in tow.

“Jessica, did you give Koko fish?”

Understanding the Trinity

There’s always been a bone of contention in the understanding of the Trinity; God the Father, the Son and the Holy spirit. A God that is 3 but 1. I would break this down as best as I can. I still have a lot to understand myself.

Chronicles of Koko

HI KENDRA
.

First day we met Koko, she was with her adopted sister Kendra. Both were young and that was all they had in common. Koko had a dark brownish colour, was cute and had a mean attitude. She was very unfriendly and we all did not like her.

Resting in His Bosom

Last night, I did something I am not proud of. Ever had that feeling where you get scared to pray because

She Called Bobby 3

Sola opened her eyes.

“Victor our relationship has lost its flavor. It has become a routine, and we are so used to each other. Bobby is a friend and he means nothing to me. Honestly, I thought of him a lot but it was nothing. I would never hurt you and you know it.”

“So Bobby is just a friend?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t like him.”

“You are just jealous.” Sola smiled.

“A man is never jealous.”

She Called Bobby 2

Victor started to withdraw from her and that was when the fights had started. They were fighting so much that a friend had noticed and referred them to his cousin, Catherine. Sola bought the idea and booked the appointment.

*****                                                      *****                                                                                             ****

Victor opened his eyes. He looked at Sola who was still screaming and had started crying.

“Sola shut up.”

She did.

“You called Bobby,Sola”

“So?!” Sola asks exasperated.

“What do you mean by so? You call that name all the time. When we are making love, when we are chatting, all the time Sola. Why do you keep calling Bobby?”

Sola closed her eyes.

****           

She called Bobby

When the couple came into the counselor’s office, she could immediately sense the tension strong and thick. She sighed on the inside. She had been practicing for just three months and she had come to realize that most problems people brought were those that they could easily solve themselves but then, if they solved it themselves, how would she make money?

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs Edwards. My name is Catherine Ugochinyere. Please sit and feel free to call me Cathy.”

The couple sat and it was obvious that whatever the problem was, the woman was guilty, it was written all over her face and body.

“What exactly is the problem Mrs Edwards?”

“She is not Mrs. Edwards. She is not worthy of the title.” The man bellowed.